转自CACTUS的文章Light Thoughts on Looking back and Embracing the Past
 
Prologue

 
This article meant to be a letter I promised to write for a friend who was in grief and agony for quite a while due to a past trauma. In the end, the letter did not get sent out on time. I finally decide to turn the letter into an article and post it here to share it with all the friends who might have been haunted by some past events. The letter contains mainly some thoughts after reading two stories in the Old Testament and some ideas from inspiring spiritual talks I had the opportunity to listen to. I have very limited knowledge on the Bible and theology, critiques are warmly welcome.

Easter is coming and it is a good time to talk about spiritual resurrection, which starts from forgetting the bad things in the past. It is a bit embarassing as well to delay the posting of this letter for such a long time that it may have already lost its momentum. Oh well, I trust the friend understands the various reasons of the delay and my best wishes to everyone who stops by and takes his/her time to read this writing.

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 * The Letter *
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曾经承诺要写信讲对待往事不要多想，最好忘记。于是有了下面对两个流传至今的古老故事的读后感。故事当有某种意义时才会被记载在书中并流传，无论它是神话还是真实的。正如人的美好精神是可以超越时间而成为不朽，而外在的只到皮肤表面的美丽或不足总会随着时间而终究消逝。


1。 罗德的妻子的故事　－　追忆往昔而失去现在

所多马是一座很古老的城市。这个城市曾经繁荣过，但是后来城市里的人民愈来愈向邪恶的方向发展，所以老天决定消灭此城。但是城里还是有善良而正直的人的，罗德就是这样一个人。所以有先知先报消息给罗德一家，让他们赶快逃离这个城市。要求是一直逃到一个预先指定的地方，不能回头望。在逃亡到所珥城时罗德的妻子却回头望了一望火焰冲天的所多马，那里毕竟是她曾经拥有过多年丰富生活的地方，多少欢笑，多少泪水，多少各式各样的经历。。。然而她回头望的那一刹那却立刻变成了一棵盐柱，失去了生命，永远站立在她回头望的地方。


第一次读这个故事还是我很小的时候，只是当作一个人不听警告的话就会变成柱子的神话故事听听。再读时，却是到了这边后，才领悟到其真正含义：沉浸在往事中 (无论是好往事还是坏往事，或是中性的往事, 当然往往是坏的往事），常会使人回头看并凝固在原地，看不见现在和将来或丧失去看的能力。很多时候，多想往事能暂时使人的心或感情有个落脚地，但是人要为沉浸在往事中付出代价，而这个代价往往是现在和将来的幸福。

2。 大卫王处理重病的儿子的故事　－　勇者拿得起，智者放得下。

大卫是以色列历史上一个很有作为的国王。但是他一生中犯过一个很大的错误。他有一天偶尔看到了一个美丽少妇拔示巴沐浴的景象，很为之美貌倾倒。拔示巴是有丈夫的，大卫则设计让其丈夫上前线阵亡，然后大卫迎娶了拔示巴。拔示巴很快也就有了身孕。可是这个没有出生的生命却因大卫的不正当手段受到了诅咒。有先知告诉大卫这个男孩会夭折。果真男孩出生之后不久就生了重病，大卫知道是诅咒发生的时候到了，他于是不吃不喝整整七天，独自在内室躺在地上恳求神，乞求拯救他的儿子，旁边的老臣劝他他也不起来。七天后，孩子死了，众大臣不敢去向大卫报告这个坏消息。他们议论：王子未死时，王都不吃不喝，悲痛欲绝，要是王听到了王子死的消息，他岂能承担的了！但是大卫观察到了众人的低语，就猜到了孩子死去了。他问众大臣是不是王子已死去，确认死讯后，大卫所做的如下：他沐浴，抹膏，更衣，祭祀上天后，摆宴席大吃大喝起来。众大臣很不解，大卫讲：孩子活者的时候，他禁食，悲哀，祷告，因为也许老天怜悯他，会不取孩子的性命走，也未可知。现在孩子已走， 我大卫岂能让他回来，况且总有一天，我也会和孩子一样，前往父那里去， 再见到孩子的，只是孩子先走了一步。

这个故事我读过好几遍，当时最不理解大卫在儿子死后的“宴席”一举，莫不是无情最是帝王家？直到有一天恍然大悟大卫不是没有感情的一个人，而是一个很懂得如何处理事情的王者。真可谓凡事拿得起，放得下。拿时勇敢地竭力好好拿，放时智慧地长舒一口气踏踏实实放下。可惜一般人很难做到。大卫闻孩子死讯前后的态度是对所有喜欢神学或者不喜欢神学的朋友都有益的一则信息, 当然我们没必要做得事前事后那末对比鲜明，但是基本指导思想还是不变的。

不要多想往事，最好忘记，但是从中学到的正确的经验教训要牢记，因为这些是支持你现在和未来幸福生活的财富，财富的累积过程一般都挺艰辛，不能让她轻易流逝，更不能积累错误的财富。让那些失去的有失去的意义，而同时看到得到的有时也有得到的痛苦。无论发生什麽，要有百折不挠的革命精神，抬起头，大踏步向前继续走。

引诗前半首来结尾：

人生到处知何似，
应似飞鸿踏雪泥；
泥上偶然留指爪，
鸿飞那复计东西？

不复计东西不等于过去就没事了,

Tragedy and Suffering are the fire that burns one pure 

When we are able to
Turn tears into knowlege,
Turn scars into stars, and
Turn hurts into halos。


Let positive thinking enpower us, as it is promised in Romans that tribulation produces perseverance (5:3) and our groan is followed by glory (8:18). After all, forgetness is the outcome of forgiveness. Once we truly forgive, we forget.

There is always light as long as we hold our spirit high because it is this very spirit that acts as the lamp and lightens up the path ahead. Then we will regain the faith, hope, and love and realize that it is today that is worth our efforts to live and treasure hence we can prepare good enough for tomorrow. Tomorrow is always another day, another opportunity to re-shape the dream of life.


书不尽言，言不尽意，悔不该当初没能学好语文，只会平铺直叙，省略号。。。

Epilogue


During the process of writing this article, I find writing actually is a very good way to clear up one's own mind. Many things we may think we know them well already until the moment we start to write them down. Then we may realize there are lots of vague points. For example, these two stories I thought I knew them very well, however it was during writing this letter that I realized I still had to refer to Genesis and 1 Samuel a lot to make sure I recorded the correct stories. This also reminds me when I was writing my thesis. The algorithm and hypothesis seemed very clear before writing, but turned out to require lots of polishing and re-thinking when I actually started writing. Wow! So many 'writing' words here in one paragraph! I guess this can be counted as a bad way of writing ;)